One Final Hook

May 10 2006

my first analysis

at second glance

was this attachement grand

wouldnt end by chance

So many intrusions

into my fleshly side

of your cast iron doubts

and my love's divide

I gave up inhibiton

destroyed fear

and plunged deep within

those rusty spears

connected to you

my trusted friend

with broken and retied ropes

many winters frayed ends

once the final rope had sealed

around the scab of forgiveness

the contustions of abuses

You decided to cut them from me

not by the ropes, no, not by the endless sutures

so close to my heart, nearly ending it's useful future

you pulled and one by one, another doorway opened

to the flowing blood of my ever-active emotions

I lay a shell of the man I was

swayed by fear, mocked by the one i loved

and yet one thing remained

what i had feared most -- stared from above

The final hook

the end of all things, the endless resistance

the end of you as if never exsisted

the end of my pain, forever persisted

When finally it was discovered

what would become of your love

that final hook was uncovered

and torn from me thereof

But with what pain did i comply?

what heavenly realm did I ask for it?

When all that is apparent are your lies

and the unchangedness of your face

I recognized this fear -- and felt it's stabbing

as it seperated itself from my mortal core

but the urgent redness of this relent

was nothing when sided with the pain before

Your love may not be like money

But it whistles in the wind

I was simply your second choice

your compulsory rescind

Our entire union was based on our fears

love could not find a home in it's air

it choked instead of the acidic tears

of our convenient lover's stare

This final hook was pulled without knowledge

this last stab was thrust without sight

But neither do I resist

neither do I fight

It is just the conclusion of a decade of hurt

When it feels as if I had lost my home

I have gained it with my father

and with him I find pleasure alone