Drunk In My Dreams

I do not dream of love...

I swerved past your mom's house through the bushes

pictures you drew as a child flying out the window

the summer sky was thirsty for my sweat

my mind floating between conciousnesses

I was taken to Montreal to a park unbeknownst

to me or my companion of the darkest secret

i struck her to keep the rapist away

confused he was defeated at his ploy

we kissed at last, a silent repast

it destroyed time and the dreamworld shattered

i awoke drunk, and scarred by the sun

the eagerness of tomorrow was setting in

i returned, drunk in my dreams

to that swerving innocence of my past

the erring and uncaring was of my former future

in these my life is even more lucid

my existance has become translucent

a cough spray on the test of reality

spreading the pencil shavings into nothingness

but fading itself, into endlessness

I was scared but curious

asking you about your upcoming commitment

you replied to me

o heavens above, you spoke to me

how gracious, o friend

when i have hurt you SO badly

you spread your innocence out on me

with just a word, even if sadly

I could not refrain

from my lovers pain

still burns deep scars

through the folds of my brain

you acted as you always did

right, unaware, and unwilling

stalwart in hopelessness

continuing faithlessness

But then i returned to my secret hiding place

unsure if i had travelled to reality or not

not able to discern truth from medication's ruse

the worst consequence of your abuse

that everlasting picture of her remained

thoough seperate, together we stay

friends united under common spirit

my newfound love, i rest in abatement

Dream or not -- for her I will make room

I will push you out of my minds tomb

you will not even exist dead

all thoughts of you, fragmented

I await my dream tonite to filter away what wasnt right --